Your Personal Advocate
by Family Law Attorney Lacey Sanchez
Almost everyone who I consult with has never been divorced. As such, they do not know what to expect and are very anxious about what could happen – especially when they are children involved. I believe one of the most important aspects of my position is to ensure that clients understand the divorce process and have realistic expectations of how the Court will make decisions regarding their child custody and visitation issues.
At the end of a marriage, spouses are not always on their best behavior because emotions are so raw – angry words are exchanged, feelings are hurt, and trust is lost. Children of divorcing parents often witness this behavior, even when parents try their best to shield them from it. Regardless of this conduct, your child’s other parent is, and will be, involved in their lives whether you like it or not.
Each and every Judge, by law, make custody orders in what they believe is in ‘the best interests of the children.’ Their initial presumption is that both parents love their children very much. And that just because your spouse may not have been a great mate, he or she can still be a great parent. I know this because 1) the law requires it, and 2) I am frequently in and out of every family law courtrooms in the Central Valley and listen to each of the judges state their decisions.
Understanding what to expect from the Court, and liking it, can sometimes be two completely different things. I make it my practice to listen very closely to what custody means to every client and what they believe is in their children’s best interest. During our first meeting, I brainstorm with each client about how to achieve their goals, while working with them to keep their expectations realistic.
I, too, am the product of divorced parents. They divorced when I was a teenager and were already driving. Yet even when I felt, as every teenager does, that I would rather spend time with my friends than my father, my mother would still encourage (read…push) me to spend time with him, despite her own personal feelings. When my father passed away only a few years later, I was very thankful that I had done so because of the bond I was able to grow with him. I always knew that both of my parents loved me despite their marriage breaking up.
